Coming Undone by Stallings Staci

Author:Stallings, Staci [Stallings, Staci]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Spirit Light Books
Published: 2011-08-07T05:00:00+00:00

“Your father has been in to discuss his final arrangements,” Father Patrick said as he pulled some papers from his black notebook. “I think it would be helpful if we went over them, so that you both can see what he wanted.”

On the other side of the table, Jason reached for the papers and began scanning them.

“As you can see, he wanted a simple Mass, not much fanfare. He was quite specific about the Gospel. The other things were mostly suggestions, so if you have other things you would like instead, I’m sure he would be okay with it.”

Ben was less curious about the papers than the topic. “You said he came to discuss final arrangements.”

Father Patrick’s attention swung over to him. “Yes.”

“How long ago?”

There was a small pause.

“Last month actually. It was right after the 9 a.m. service, and he wanted to put some things in writing because as he said he didn’t want anyone to have to worry about it.”

The smile that brushed Ben’s heart was a sad one. That was his dad, always taking care of everyone else. He wondered then how clearly his father had known something like this was coming. The bills, the arrangements. He had to have known. It couldn’t be that big of a coincidence.

Then Father Patrick’s gaze fell, and Ben knew there was something else.

“He also gave me these,” Father Patrick finally said slowly as he pulled two white envelopes from the notebook. “There is one for each of you. He told me to give them to you after his death as they were simply what he wanted to say that he was never able to. I can hold them until after if you would like. Otherwise, I see no point in not giving them to you now. Would you like to have them now or later?”

Jason’s gaze snapped across the table. “There’s one for me too?”

“There is.”

Breathing had become a real issue again as Ben sat there, his mind screeching that somehow this was for real, that they were discussing his father’s funeral and that his father was indeed dying. How was that possible again? How had he gotten here? It all seemed so very surreal.

“Well, I don’t know about Ben,” Jason said, glancing over, “but I’d like to have mine now.”

Father Patrick nodded and slipped one of the envelopes across the table. He fingered the other as he waited for Ben’s decision.

Ben looked at it, lying there on the table like it was a snake in the grass poised to strike. No! I don’t want that thing. I don’t want it! I want my dad. No letter could ever take his place. I want him. Why can’t anyone understand that?

“I can hold yours until later,” Father Patrick said as gently as words had ever been said. “It’s your decision.”

My decision? What part of any of this has been my decision? None of it. I hate this. I hate all of it. I don’t want to make this decision or any other.

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